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The Murder Book: A True Crime Podcast
Each week, The Murder Book will present unsolved cases, missing persons, notorious crimes, controversial cases, and serial killers, exploring details of the crime scenes and the murderer's childhood. Some episodes are translated into Spanish as well. The podcast is produced and hosted by Kiara Coyle.
The Murder Book: A True Crime Podcast
Unraveling Columbine: Part XIII
Delving into the disturbing minds of the Columbine killers reveals a calculated progression toward violence rather than a sudden snap. Eric Harris, a textbook psychopath, meticulously planned the attack for over a year while manipulating everyone around him with an Oscar-worthy performance of contrition and rehabilitation.
The yearbooks exchanged between Eric and Dylan became repositories of their murderous fantasies – complete with drawings of massacres and X's marked over classmates' photos. This exchange represented a dangerous pact of "mutually assured destruction," as either could have exposed the other. Yet the disturbing reality is that Eric's true intentions were hiding in plain sight, even as he charmed his way through a juvenile diversion program following an arrest for breaking into a van.
While Eric's journal entries revealed his genuine desire for mass destruction, Dylan Klebold appears to have been primarily suicidal rather than homicidal. His private writings focused on finding true love as an escape from his misery, suggesting he viewed their planning sessions as fantasy rather than reality until much closer to the event.
The aftermath rippled through the community in profound ways. When Columbine reopened, students and parents formed a "human shield" to physically block the media from accessing the school. The six-month anniversary brought new threats, heightened anxiety, and culminated in the suicide of a wounded student's mother. For survivors like Patrick Ireland, who was shot in the head, recovery meant not just learning to walk again but confronting the reality that dreams – like his plan to become an architect – might now be impossible due to his injuries.
This detailed examination of the Columbine tragedy challenges simplified narratives about bullying or snap decisions, revealing instead how psychopathy can manifest as a long-term, calculated path toward violence that remains undetected despite multiple warning signs. What makes Eric Harris truly frightening isn't just what he did – but how effectively he convinced everyone around him that he was reformed, remorseful, and ready to rejoin society.
Welcome to the Murder Book. I'm your host, kiara, and we continue with Unraveling the Columbine Tragedy. Let's begin A year before the attack. The boys settled on the time and place April 1999 in the Commons. That gave Eric time to plan, build his arsenal and convince his partner it was for real. Shortly after starting Diversion, eric and Dylan received their junior yearbooks. They swapped and filled page after page with drawings, descriptions and rants. We, the gods, will have so much fun with NBK. Dylan wrote in Eric's my wrath for January's incident will be godlike, not to mention our revenge. And the commons.
Speaker 1:January's incident was their arrest. Eric was mad about it too. January 31st sucks, he wrote in Dillon's. I hate white vans.
Speaker 1:The arrest was a critical moment. The yearbooks confirmed Fusilier's tentative conclusion on the score. Eventually Fusilier would see it as the most important event in Eric's progression to murder. The arrest was followed in rapid succession by Eric detonating his first pipe bombs, threatening mass murder on his website, confiding worse visions to his journal and settling on the outlines of his attack. But Eric was already headed that way. He did not snap.
Speaker 1:Fusilier saw fallout from the crime as a celebrant to murder rather than cause. Eric was an injustice collector. The cops judge. Diversion officers were merely the latest additions to a comically comprehensive enemies list which included Tiger Woods, every girl who had rejected him, all of Western culture and the human species. What was different about the arrest in Agent Fusilier's eyes was that it was the first dramatic reign in on the boys' ability to control their own lives.
Speaker 1:The screws are tightening. They were juniors in high school now, a time when personal freedom expanded faster than ever before. They had just gotten their driver's licenses. They have jobs with paychecks and their first rush of disposable income. Their curfews were getting later. Parental oversight was easing. Eric was dating. Their universe of possibilities was expanding. They had suffered setbacks before, but those were mild and short-lived. This time it was a felony. A felony for the smallest trifle. Some morons' vans saw what All freedom was lost. Eric's 23-year-old was dumping him because he was grounded all the time and could never see her. He kept working Brenda, but it didn't look good.
Speaker 1:Eric filled Dylan's yearbook with drawings, swastikas, robocallers and splattered bodies. The dead outnumber the living. An illustration in the margin suggested hundreds of tiny corpses piling up to the horizon until they all blended together in an ocean of human waste. Eric went through his own book, marking up the faces of kids he didn't like. He labeled them worthless, said they could die. Or they would die or just made an X over their pictures. Or they would die or just made an X over their pictures. Eric had 2,000 photos to deface and eventually he got to almost all of them. Eric had it in for a couple of treacherous assholes. God I can't wait till they die, he wrote in Dylan's book. I can't taste the blood now.
Speaker 1:Psychopaths want to enjoy their exploits and that's why the sadistic ones tend to choose serial killing. They enjoy the cruelty as it plays out. Eric went a different route the big kill which he would relish in anticipation for a full year. He loved control. He couldn't wait to hold lives in his hand. When his day finally arrived, he took his time in the library and enjoyed every minute of it. He killed some kids on a whim, let others go just as easily. He also used his website to enjoy a certain notoriety in his lifetime. One contradiction to Eric's control fetish is apparent in his willingness to entrust power to Dylan.
Speaker 1:The yearbook exchange represented a huge leap of faith for each of them. They had been talking about murder for months Now and corresponding catchphrases in both journals suggest they had been riffling on those ideas regularly. Eric had gone semi-public with the threats, already posting them on his website, but no one seemed to notice or take it seriously. This time he scrolled out incriminating evidence of his plot and his own handwriting and turned it over to Dylan. They hinted about plants in a few friends' yearbooks, but it all sounded like jokes. Dylan said he would like to kill Puff, daddy or Handsome, while Eric went with irony Don't follow your dreams, follow your animal instincts. If it moves, kill it. If it doesn't, burn it. And then used some German phrase that meant numeracy constantly and a common shorthand with this for his favorite band KMFDM. This was just the kind of move that delighted. Eric, warned the world in writing to show us how stupid we all are.
Speaker 1:In each other's books they took a real gamble, particularly Dylan. He wrote page after page of specific murder plans. They were at each other's mercy. Now Exposure of the yearbooks could end their participation and diversion and bring them back on felony charges For the final year. Each boy knew his body could get him imprisoned at any time, though they would both go down together Mutually assured destruction. Dr Fusilier considered their yearbook passages.
Speaker 1:Both boys fantasized about murder, but Dylan focused on the single attack. Eric had a grander vision. All his writing alluded to a wider slaughter killing everything, destroying the human race. In a passionate journal entry a month later, he would cite the Nazis' final solution Kill them all. Well, in case you haven't figured it out yet, I say killed mankind. It's unclear whether Eric and Dylan were aware of the discrepancy neither one addressed in it writing discrepancy, neither one addressed in it writing. It's hard to imagine that Eric failed to notice Dylan's focus on a more limited attack. Was he including Dylan in the full dream? Perhaps Dylan just didn't find it plausible Blowing up the high school? That could actually happen, killing mankind? Maybe that just sounded like science fiction to Dylan.
Speaker 1:Despite the press's obsession with bullying and misfits, that's not how the boys presented themselves. Dylan laughed about picking on the new freshmen. Neither one complained about bullies picking up on them. They boasted about doing it themselves. The bullies changed dramatically after they began diversion and reversed directions once again. Eric launched a new charm offensive. Andrea Sanchez became the second most important person in his life. Knowing her was the best way to appease the first, his dad. It also kept the program from diverting Eric from his goal. Eric had a plan now. He was on a mission and he was ready.
Speaker 1:His grades dropped briefly after the arrest but they rebounded to his best ever once he had his attack plan. It was a lot of work, which he complained bitterly about in his journals, but he worked his ass off to excel. Dylan didn't try to impress anybody, not even Andrea. He missed appointments, fell behind in community service, let his grades plummet he was actually getting two Ds. Nbk was nothing but a diversion to Dylan Fantasy chats with his buddy about what they would like to do. Dylan didn't believe it. He didn't plan to go through with it. All he knew was that he was a felon. Now His miserable life had grown pathetically worse.
Speaker 1:Eric was the star performer in the program, at work and at school. He even earned a raise and when school let out for his first last summer he got a second job at Tortilla Wraps where his buddy named Nate Dyckman worked. Eric started putting away more money to build his arsenal. His cover story was that he was saving up for a new computer. He worked both jobs in addition to the 45 hours of community service the judge had ordered for the summer. That was boring. Mean your crap like sweeping and picking up trash at a rec center. He despised it but pasted on a smile. It was all for a good cause. Dylan did not appear to contribute much to the attack, financially or otherwise. He quit blackjack and didn't bother with a regular job over the summer. He just did some yard work for a neighbor. Eric kept both his employers and the rec supervisors satisfied.
Speaker 1:The boys were required to write apology letters to the van owner. The boys were required to write apology letters to the van owner. Eric's exuded contrition. He acknowledged he was writing partly because he had been ordered to, but mostly because quote I strongly feel that I owe you an apology. End quote. Eric said he was sorry repeatedly and outlined his legal and parental punishments so the victim would understand that he was paying a price for his actions.
Speaker 1:Eric knew exactly what empathy looked like. His most convincing moment in the letter came when he put himself in the owner's position. If his car had been robbed, he said, the sense of invasion would have haunted him. It would have been hard for him to drive it again. Every time he got in the car he would have pictured someone rummaging through it. God, he felt violated. Just imagining it. He was so disappointed in himself.
Speaker 1:Fusilier said end quote. He wrote that strictly for effect. That was a complete manipulation. At almost exact same time he wrote down his real feelings in his journal. Isn't America supposed to be the land of the free? How come, if I'm free, I can't deprive a stupid dumb shit from his possessions If he leaves them sitting in the front seat of his van, out in plain sight and in the middle of nowhere on a 5-f-ing day night. Natural selector. The F you know he was cussing in this entry should be shot, end quote.
Speaker 1:Eric betrayed no signs of contempt to Andrea Sanchez. In her notes she remarked on Eric's deep remorse. Few angry boys can hide their feelings or sling the BS so convincingly. Habitual liars hate basically being like that or not being good at that, but not psychopaths. That was the best part of the performance. Eric's joy came from watching Andrea and the van owner and Wayne Harris and everyone who caught sight of the letter fall for its ridiculous crap Because it was a con. Eric never complained about those lies, he bragged about them.
Speaker 1:Eric could be a procrastinator a common affliction among psychopaths and Andrea suggested he work on time management. So Eric bought a Rebel Pride day planner, filled a week in and brought it in his biweekly counseling session to show off. He gushed about what a great idea it was. It was really helping, he said, and Andrea was impressed. She praised him for it in his file. Then he quit. He used the book to vent his real feelings. It had come packed with motivational slogans and tips for better living. Andrea Sanchez was delighted with Eric. She worked with the boys directly for a few months and then transitioned them over to a new counselor. In Eric's file, andrea ended her last entry with quote muy facil hombre. That's sort of not a correct Spanish to just say this is easy man.
Speaker 1:And Dylan got no affectionate sign off. And why wouldn't? And Andrea Sanchez liked Eric more because everyone did. He was funny and clever and that smile. He knew just what went to flash it to Just how long to hang back, tease you with it, make you work for it and then lay on it or lay it on. Dylan, on the other hand, was a gloom factory. The misery was so fulfilling. The misery was so fulfilling. Who wanted to hang around under that cloud all day? Inside he was a dynamo of wild energy, hurling in eight directions at once, jamming music in his head, thinking clever thoughts bursting with joy and sadness and regret and hope and excitement. But he was scared to show it. Dylan kept it behind a veneer. You could see him silently simmering sometimes, but he mostly came across as sheepish and embarrassed.
Speaker 1:Anger was the one thing that would boil over sometimes. Every complaint about his medication boil over sometimes. Eric complained about his medication before he transitioned from Andrea Sanchez. He told her that Zoloft wasn't doing enough. He felt restless and couldn't concentrate. Dr Albert switched him to Luvox. The change required two weeks unmedicated to metabolize the Soloft out of his system. Eric told Andrea he was worried about going without. He told a different story to his journal. Dr Albert wanted to medicate him to eradicate bad thoughts and quell his anger. He wrote that was craziness. He would not accept the human assembly line. No, no, no, god darn it. No. He wrote I will sooner die than betray my own thoughts, but before I leave this worthless place I will kill whoever I deem unfit. This is a direct quote. It's not clear exactly what Eric was up with Dr Albert. He might have actually complained about the Soloft because it was too effective. Every patient reacts differently. The maneuver definitely solidified the facade of Eric working to control his anger. Wayne Harris was the hardest person for Eric to fool. He has seen Eric's boy scout acts and it never lasted.
Speaker 1:Wayne made one undated entry in his journal sometime after the orientation meeting for a diversion in April. Some time after the orientation meeting for diversion in April he was frustrated. He listed bullet points for a lecture for Eric that says unwilling to control sleep habits, unwilling to control study habits, unmotivated to succeed in school, we can deal with one and two TV, phone, computer lights out, job, social. You must deal with three. Prove to us your desire to succeed by succeeding showing good judgment, giving extra effort, pursuing interest, seeking help, advice. So after he wrote that, he decided to put Eric on restriction again A 10 o'clock pm curfew except for studying, no phone during study time and possibly another four weeks away from his computer. The crackdown was the last entry Wayne Harris would record and nearly the last words the public would get from him. The search warrant exercised on his home a year later was specific to Eric's writings. Nothing else from Wayne or Kathy or Eric's brother was confiscated. In the 10 years since the attack they have issued a few brief statements through attorneys, met with police briefly and with parents of the victims once they have never spoken to the press. The outlines of Eric's relationship to his father came through in their journals and from testimony of outsiders. Kathy Harris's Mercure and a full picture of the family dynamic remains elusive.
Speaker 1:With Eric, dylan paid lip service to MBK. Privately, however, he was juggling two options suicide or true love. He wrote Harriet a love letter confessing all. He wondered if she had a boyfriend. Odd that he had never checked that out. He hardly saw her anymore. He realized this might be a bit much and he wrote a quote I know what you're thinking. Some psycho wrote me this harassing letter. But he had to take his chance. He was sure she had noticed him a few times. None of her gazes had gone unnoticed. End quote.
Speaker 1:Dylan confessed his scariest intentions, just like Zach who had found a soulmate in whom to confide his suicidal desires. But at first Dylan was a little coy. He wrote, quote I will go away soon. Please don't feel any guilt about my soon-to-be absence of this world. End quote. Finally, he conceded that she would hate him if she knew the whole truth. But he confessed it anyway. So he continued writing. Quote I am a criminal. I have done things that almost nobody would even think about condoning. End quote.
Speaker 1:He had been caught for most of his crimes, he said, and wanted a new existence. He was confident she knew what he meant. Suicide Quote he put suicide question mark I have nothing to live for and I won't be able to survive in this world after this legal conviction. But if she loved him as strong as he loved her, he would find a way to survive. If she thought he was crazy, please don't tell anyone. He pleaded. Please accept his apologies, but if she felt something for him too, she should leave a note in his locker, number 837, near the library. And then he signed his name near the library. And then he signed his name. He did not deliver it. Did he ever intend to? Or was it just for him? Eric Mingwa was upset. He lashed out at Brooks Brown by email and said quote I know you're an enemy of Eric's. It said I know where you live and what cars you drive.
Speaker 1:Psychopaths do not attempt to fool everyone. They save their performances for people with power over them or with something they need. If you saw the ugly side of Eric Harris, you meant nothing to him. Brooks told his mom Judy, call the cops. A deputy wrote up yet another suspicious incident report and added it to the ongoing investigation of Eric. It said that the Browns were worried and they requested an extra patrol. For the night the threesome was over. Zach was not included in NBK and Eric froze him out completely.
Speaker 1:Eric went cold on him that summer and Zach said that he'd never figure out why Open hostilities erupted that fall. Dylan kept clear of it. He stayed close to Zach, away from Eric, chatting away by phone. Every night Randy Brown called the cops again. Somebody had attacked his garage with paintball gum and he was sure he was the same old little criminal. Eric Harris, a deputy, interviewed Randy and wrote up a report and he wrote no suspects, no leads.
Speaker 1:His new counselor, bob Chris Hauser, wrote that Eric is doing well and that Eric was exceeding expectations and covering his mistakes. He got into a bit of procrastination jam on his last four hours of community service. He waited until the last day and he wasn't going to get to complete his full 45 hours. So he sweet-talked the stranger in charge at the rec center that day who was impressed enough to lie for him. As far as Chris Hauser knew, eric completed his service on time. Eric used to work for Brownie Points with a teacher. That fall he boasted about the summer he had dedicated to the community.
Speaker 1:The boys continued diverging philosophically. Eric held mastery over man and nature. Dylan was a slave to fate. And Dylan had a big surprise. He had no intention of inflicting Eric's massacre. He enjoyed the banter but privately said goodbye. He enjoyed the banter but privately said goodbye. He expected his August 10 entry to be his last. Dylan was planning to kill himself long before NBK.
Speaker 1:So now senior year started for the killers. Eric and Dylan began a video production class. That was fun. They got to make movies.
Speaker 1:The fictional vignettes were mostly variations on the formula Aloof tough guys protecting misfits from poking jocks. Eric and Dylan outwitted the bullies but saved the real contempt for the clients. They bled the losers financially, then killed them just because they could. The victims deserved it. They were inferior. The storyline spilled right out of Eric's journal and Eric was guiding his unsteady partner fantasy to reality, one step at a time. And Dylan ate it up. He came alive on camera. His eyes bulged. You could sense true rage smoldering beneath his skin. The boys have rifled on NBK for months, but now they were acting out bits on film. They were celluloid heroes, screening their exploits for classmates and adults. And Eric loved that Hilarious, to reveal his plans that way. He was right in the open and they still couldn't guess. And he had Dylan out there with him.
Speaker 1:Eric was gobbling up literature Macbeth, kinleer, tests of the Duval bills, he could never get enough Nietzsche or Hobbes. Once a week he wrote a short essay for English class on one of the stories, or sometimes on a random topic. These essays reached Dr Fusilier weeks after the murders. He found them revealing, particularly for what they omitted. In September, eric titled one of his short essays Is Murder or Breaking the law ever justified? Yes, he responded. In extreme situations he described holding pets and human hostage, threatened to blow up busloads of people. The irony of masking grisly murder fantasies and moralistic essays amused him. Asking grisly murder fantasies and moralistic essays amused him, a police sniper could save money, or should say could save many, by killing one. According to Eric, the law must bend. Eric made this sense in his journal but took it a step further. Moral imperatives are situational, absolutes are imaginary. Therefore he could kill anyone he wanted. Fusilier saw no moral confusion, clearly no mental illness. Eric demonstrated his sanity by his ability to navigate such tricky, certain terrain and he got the satisfaction of warning us in yet another way, without giving himself away.
Speaker 1:Dylan expected to be dead soon. What was the point of school? He had a light schedule and was still pulling two Ds. He was sleeping in class. He missed the first calculus test and didn't bother making it up. Those grades are not acceptable, and that's what Bob Grishauser, his diversion officer, told him. You could get them up ASAP or do his homework at the diversion office every afternoon. Kriegshauser was thrilled with Eric's progress.
Speaker 1:Eric was working on a speech about foreign music and memorizing Dr Der Erkoning and I'm probably butchering this because I don't speak German. This was an opera, an operatic poem, and he also had taken a road trip to Boulder to catch a University of Colorado football game. He was making a batch of donuts for Oktoberfest and soaking up everything he could find on the Nazis. He poured through books such as the Nazi Party, secrets of the SS, the Ideological Origins of Nazi Imperialism. He cited a dozen scholarly books for his paper the Nazi Culture. It was a strong piece of work vivid, comprehensive and detailed.
Speaker 1:The paper let Eric indulge in depravity right in the open. It began by making the reader to imagine a stadium packed with murdered, men and women and children, not just filling the seats but pile high into the air above it. That would still represent just a fraction of the people exterminated by the Nazis. He said Six million Jews they did away with and five million other besides Eleven million. Now there was a body count. Eric fantasized about topping it. He described Nazi officers lighting up prisoners and firing into the first man to see how many rib cages the bullet could penetrate. So the teacher responded by writing wow, in the margin. That is scary, incredible.
Speaker 1:Eric photocopied a passage from Heinrich Himmler's infamous speech to the SS group leaders and kept it in his room. Eric was feeling rambunctious and he started wearing t-shirts with German phrases. He littered his papers with swastika and he yelled when he landed a strike at rock and roll For Eric's buddy, chris Morris. All the damn Nancy crap was wearing a little thin. Eric was quoting Hitler. Um spoken of about concentration camps.
Speaker 1:In October Eric faced a setback, a speeding ticket. His parents were strict and it cost him. They make him pay for the fine, attend defensive driving cover, any increase in insurance premium plus. He was grounded for three weeks. All the open nasty lust was beginning to paint Eric into a corner Four days after turning his paper in, eric confided to his journal that he was showing too much.
Speaker 1:He tried a new tactic, recast what he had already revealed. He wrote a deeply personal essay for government class and turned it into and to Mr Tonelli, who he called a lot of the students call him T-Dog and Eric admitted he was a felon, that he has faced the horror of the police station as a criminal. But he was a changed man. He had spent four hours in custody and it had been a nightmare when they put him in a prison-style bathroom. He had broken down and he said quote I cry, I hurt and I felt like hell.
Speaker 1:He wrote he was still trying to earn back the respect of his parents. He said that was the biggest blow. Oh, thanks God. He said he never drank of or did any drugs. So in the closing lines he made a classic psychopathic move. He said personally, I think that whole entire night was enough punishment for me was enough punishment for me. And he wrote this explaining that it forced him to face a whole new world of experiences. So all in all, he concluded, I guess it was a worthwhile punishment. After all, t-dog fell for every move. What chance did he have against a clever young psychopath. Few teachers even know the meaning of the term. Dr Fusilier compared the dates of the public and private confessions just to days between them. It was remarkable how often Eric addressed the same ideas in both venues and how craftily he obscured his true intent.
Speaker 1:Months after the attack, following a briefing on the killers, tonelli went to see Fusilier and he said I think I have to talk to you. And he said this. And Fusilier sat down with him, with Tonelli, and Tonelli was wracked with guilt and he asked what did I miss here? And Fusilier told him nothing. Eric was convincing. He told you exactly what you wanted to hear. He didn't play innocent. He confessed to guilt and pleaded for forgiveness. Civilians always believe a good psychopath.
Speaker 1:Eric bragged about his performances again in his journal and then took a turn and he said I would have been a great Marine. It would have given me a reason to be good. That was unusual for Eric. He usually reveled in his bad choice, but just for a moment. He usually reveled in his bad choice, but just for a moment. There he toyed with the other road and he said I would never drink and drive either. It would be weird when we actually go to dance to. Let me try to rephrase this. He said that he would be weird now when we actually go on the rampage, and that's how he wrote it and quoted Now Dr Fossilier.
Speaker 1:He read the passage with only mild surprise, because even extreme psychopaths, they can show flickers of empathy. Now and then. Eric was extreme, but not absolute. This was the closest he would come to betraying reservations and it was a logical pass. The plan was becoming real. Now Eric finally had the means to kill. He felt the power. He had to make a decision Keep it fantasy or make it real. Eric's reflection lasted two lines. The sentences run together as if it was writing rapidly, and the next one envisioned a massive attack. And the next one envisioned a massive attack. He wrote a jumbo ammo cartridge would be great, just think a hundred rounds without reloading. Hell yeah, we'll be right back.
Speaker 1:Kathy Arlen had wanted to save her boy Now she wanted to get her hands on the kids who did this to him. She looked into Patrick's eyes, serene like hers. Before this horror struck. Kathy had breathed tranquility into her family, but it took all of her effort to stay calm around Patrick. Kathy stood by Patrick's bed and asked if he understood who had done this to him. It didn't matter. He said they were confused. But forgive them, please forgive them. And that took Kathy's breath away, because at first she assumed that Patrick was confused. But he was not. He had too much work to do. He was going to walk again and talk again like a normal person and he insisted he would still be valedictorian and anger would eat him up inside and he couldn't afford this. And Kathy said okay, she feared that it was more than she could do, but she would try to forgive too. It would take her years to let go and she never shook the anger completely, but she kept looking to Patrick leading the way.
Speaker 1:Patrick Ireland was struggling. His days at Crick Hospital that first summer was exhausting. At night Patrick would lie quietly in his room, winding down before settling off to sleep. John O'Cathy would stay with him. They took turns each night. They would turn the lights off around 11 or 12 and just sit there in the dark with him quietly at first. Then he would begin to ask questions. He needed to know everything. What exactly happened in the library? How did he respond? What was going to happen now? Parents wanted to know about the other victims, or I should say Patrick wanted to know about the other victims too, and the killers sometimes. What could make them do something like that? His speech was returning slowly. Short-term memory was still a struggle. Patrick shed his anger toward the killers early, but his condition could be infuriating. Outbursts are typical, with head wounds.
Speaker 1:Anger and frustration commonly last several months the blue period they call it. His therapists were tracking that as well. When Patrick shook his fist at them they were noted in his chart. Patrick stayed at Craig Hospital for nine and a half weeks. He walked out on July 2nd using a four-armed crutch to support himself. He wore a plastic brace on his right leg. His doctor sent him home with a wheelchair for when he needed to cover long distances. A banner signed by friends welcomed him back.
Speaker 1:The summer went quickly. Patrick wasn't ready for school to start. He was overbooked already with occupational, physical and speech therapy and neuropsychology. They were exhausting days, but he was walking more steadily. His speech was pretty intelligible and the extended process while he searched for words grew briefer. A sentence might be interrupted only once now, or sometimes not at all. And the blue period passed.
Speaker 1:Four months after the police tape went up, columbine was set to reopen. August 16 was the target date. The atmosphere that morning would mean everything. If students came home feeling like they had made a clean break over the summer and move on, then they would have. The first few minutes of that morning would set the tone for the entire year. Administrators had gathered students, faculty victims and all the stakeholders and brainstormed Osama. They have consulted psychologists and cultural anthropologists and grief experts and had come up with an elaborate ritual. It would be called take back the school For the ceremony to have impact. They needed an adversary to overcome, and the more tangible and odious the adversary the better it was, because it was an easy choice.
Speaker 1:The media the Denver Post and Rocky Mountain News were still running Columbine stories every day, several a day. As the fall semester began, coverage shot back up 10 stories a day between the two papers and the national outlets were back. How do you feel? Everyone constantly wanted to know. Students started sporting Bite Me t-shirts and quite a few faculty members did too. The media had made their lives hell and reporters could be counted on to appear in record numbers.
Speaker 1:The rally would include speeches and cheers and rock music and a ribbon cutting. Chits and cheers and rock music and a ribbon cutting. But the heart of the event was a public rebuke of the media in a ceremonial reclaiming of the school. From them, thousands of parents and neighbors would be recruited to form a human shield to rebuke the press. The shield would function both symbolically and practically. It would prevent reporters from performing the despicable job. They literally would not be able to see what was going on. The rally could have easily been planned for inside. Virtually every school rally was and this event would be held outside specifically to stick it to the media. No doors or locks or walls would be kept out of the media. They would be blocked by a human wall of shame and the school would dare them to try to cross it. Reporters were kept in the dark about the agenda until seven days before the rally.
Speaker 1:On August 9th, the school convened a media guidelines summit. Forty news organizations attended local and national. 40 news organizations attended local and national. The invitation was filled with conciliatory phrases like exchange ideas and balance the interests. The district lined up a group of trauma experts. A professor outlined bereavement.
Speaker 1:These kids were still in the early stages and many were suffering from PTSD. Mental repetition of the trauma trapped them there. The TV stations kept recycling the same stock footage. Swat teams, bloody victims, hugging survivors, kids running out with hands on their heads. Reporters did not like where this was going. Then victims' advocate Robin Finnegan introduced the larger idea. Kids felt as if their identities had been stolen. Columbine was the name of the tragedy. Now their school was a symbol of mass murder. They had been cast as bullies or snotty rich brats. And there comes a point where victims need to have ownership of their tragedy. And so far the media owned the Columbine tragedy. That was about to change. The district said oh, good luck getting your precious Columbine returns Stories.
Speaker 1:Administrators outlined the gist of the ceremony. So a reporter asked what's the human chain for? And district spokesman Rick Kaufman said To shield the students from you folk, most media would be excluded. A small pool would be escorted in. Reporters were incredulous. One print reporter the White House didn't limit its pool that tightly.
Speaker 1:Reporters for the big national papers huddled in the back of the room discussing options to lawyer up. The district wouldn't back down, kaufman said. In fact, the pool would come only with major concessions no helicopters, no rooftop photographers and no breach of school grounds. If we can't get agreement, then there's no pool, he said. And reporters threatened and said try it, it would backfire. As long as parents understand that by saying no to everything again, it's going to be a situation where we are coming out of rocks and stuff in order to get sound and pictures. This is what a TV executive said and then additionally added and I wonder if the parents really understand, if they think they control us by just saying no, they are really not. They're forcing us to go in other directions, directions Kaufman. The spokesman said his back was to the wall. Angry parents had objected to any pull at all and they said parents and faculty, they have really hit the wall with you folks and they're saying we are done, enough is enough. Later that week a compromise was reached. The pool was expanded slightly and a bullpen was added within the shield where interested students could approach cordoned off reporters. The press agreed to all previous demands and two new ones no kid would be approached on the way to school that morning and no photographs of any of the injured survivors would be used.
Speaker 1:The kids finally felt a sense of victory. Mr D was excited about the rally, but he was also worried about the new kids. It was a principal's thing. The incoming freshmen always commanded his thoughts. This time of year Kids were either assimilate quickly or spend four years struggling to fit in.
Speaker 1:The first two weeks were crucial. Mr D chose to combat the chasm by highlighting it. He met with the academic and sports teams and the student senate over the summer and he gave every kid and every teacher the same mission. These kids will never understand you, they will never endure your pain, never bridge the gap between social classes that you did. So help them. By and large, they went for it. Kids thought they were overwhelmed by their own struggle, but what they really needed was someone else to look out for. They have to solve a different sort of pain to comprehend how to hear their own.
Speaker 1:Mr D's team brainstormed up a slew of activities to grease the transition. The wall tile project seemed like an easy one. For three years, kids had been painting for inch ceramic tiles. In our class, 500 had been plastered above the lockers to brighten the Columbine corridors. 1,500 new tiles will be added before school resumed, representing the single most noticeable change to the interior. Implementing the single most noticeable change to the interior. For one morning, kids could express their grief or hope or desires visually and abstractly without the intervention of words. That wouldn't come.
Speaker 1:Brian Fusilier didn't want his parents standing in the human shield. He told his dad, agent Fusilier, the more you do that, the more you make it unnatural. Brian was doing okay with trauma. He just wanted his life back and his school back the way it had been. So his father said that's just not going to happen. So Agent Fusilier took Monday morning off from the investigation to join the chain and Mimi stood beside him.
Speaker 1:By 7 am kids were streaming in with the parents. By 7.30, the shield was 500 strong. It would grow much larger. The parents applauded each student's arrival. Most of the kids were matching white T-shirts and blessed with their rallying cry we are on the front and Columbine on the back. Small contingents have opted for their own messages. Small contingents have opted for their own messages. Yes, I believe in God. Or vectors, not victims.
Speaker 1:Frank DeAngelis took the microphone and a group of kids screamed we love you, mrd. He teared up at the welcome, then delivered a touching speech. He said quote. He teared up at the welcome, then delivered a touching speech. He said quote. You may be feeling a little anxious, he said, but you need to know that you are not alone in this End. Quote. The school's American flags were raised from half-mast for the first time since April 20th, symbolically ending the period of mourning. A ribbon across the entrance was cut and Patrick Ireland led the student body in. We'll be right back.
Speaker 1:Milestones were hard. The first day of school, the first Christmas, first anything. All the early memories, all the feelings of helplessness swelled back to the surface. The six-month anniversary was unnerving. Surveillance video of the killers roaming the cafeteria had just been leaked to CBS. The network led its national news broadcast with the first of footage inside the building.
Speaker 1:During the attack, eric and Dylan strolled around Brandon Schindler weapons. They picked up abandoned cups from the tables and casually enjoy a few sips. They shot at the big bombs and terrified kids scurried away. And it was one thing to hear or read about it and another thing was to see it. And Sean Graves' mother said that she cried while she watched and she made herself sit through it because she needed to know Her son took a pass. Sean did his homework in the other room. Sean was semi-paralyzed, one of the critically injured kids. Everyone was watching their progress.
Speaker 1:Anne and Marie Holt-Holter were struggling. She went to school for physics class and a tutor taught her the rest at home. Her family had just moved into a new house outfitted by volunteers to accommodate her wheelchair, and Marie was fighting her way toward walking again. A few days before the six-month anniversary, she finally moved her legs, one at a time, three to four inches high. It was a tremendous. It was a tremendous, tremendous achievement, her dad, ted, said.
Speaker 1:But the pain was still excruciating. The six months at University Jitters made it harder. Rumors were rampant. Eric and Dylan couldn't have acted alone. The Trench Coal coat mafia is still active. It could strike again at any moment. October 20th was the six-month mark Seemed like the perfect moment.
Speaker 1:On October 18th, a fresh rumor surfaced. A friend of Eric and Dylan's who had worked on their school videos told someone he was going to finish the job. The next day, police raided his house, searched the premises and arrested him. His parents cooperated. He was charged with a felony and held on a $500,000 bond $500,000 bond. He was put on a suicide watch. He was 17.
Speaker 1:The kid made a brief appearance in juvenile court on Wednesday in leg shackles and a green prison uniform. He faced Magistrate John DeVita, the same man who had sentenced Eric and Dylan a year and a half earlier. Because the suspect was a minor. His name was withheld and the record sealed. But DeVita confirmed the police had found an incriminated journal. That was the basis for the allegation he said. A diagram of the school was also recovered but no signs of activity to carry anything out. In the 12-page diary the boy lamented his failure to help Eric and Dylan with their troubles. He contemplated suicide. He wrote about it. He talked about it when they came to arrest him.
Speaker 1:That same day, their six-month anniversary, 450 students call in sick. Why set foot in that deadly school? More drifted out all day. By the closing bell half the student body was gone. Three of the critical injured kids Richard Castaldo and Marie Hushhalter and Patrick Ireland stuck it out. Sean Graves stayed home and baked chocolate chip cookies with friends. He said that he didn't want to risk it. Thursday 14% were still out. The normal absentee rate was 5%. The tension subsided On Friday. Attendance was back near normal. Anne-marie Holter and her dad went to Leawood Elementary that morning to thank fundraisers and accept donations raised on her behalf.
Speaker 1:Around 10 am Anne-Marie's mother walked into an Alpha Pawn shop south of Denver. She asked to see a handgun. The clerk offered several options. She looked at them through the glass case. She settled on a .38 caliber revolver. While he got started on the background check she turned her back to the counter and loaded. She had brought the ammo with her. First she fired at the wall and the second shot entered through her right temple. Paramedics rushed Carla June to the Swedish Medical Center, the same hospital that had treated Anne-Marie. Carla June died a few minutes later. A counselor who had worked with the family came by the house to notify the
Speaker 1:family. Columbine's mental health hotline was flooded with calls on Saturday. Several distraught messages were queued up on the machine. When counselors arrived, they added an extra weekend shift. A Jeffco official said that it had been a hard week. They are sad and depressed and they want to
Speaker 1:talk. Parents had watched their kids sputtering on the brink for months, especially this month, the six-month anniversary. Other parents had no idea what their kids were thinking. Were they getting that desperate too? Would Carla's choice seem like a way out? Some kids fought the same thoughts about their parents. What most people in the community did not know was that Carla was at the end of a long struggle with mental illness. The Hoth Hoth family wanted the public to understand that. The whole Holtter family wanted the public to understand that After her death they released a statement saying she had been battling clinical depression for three
Speaker 1:years. She had been suicidal in the past. She had been on medication. A month earlier Ted had called the authorities at 3 am to report her missing. She walked into a local emergency room the next day seeking treatment for depression. She was hospitalized for a month. Eight days before her suicide she was transferred to an outpatient program. The family revealed later that Carla had been diagnosed as
Speaker 1:bipolar. Columbine aggravated Carla's depression horribly. She may or may not have gone over the edge without it. But the Columbine tragedy was not the underlying cause. The school suspended the boy who had made the anniversary threat pending expulsion. That made eight expulsion proceedings in Jefco since April for a variety of gun threats and bomb scares. Everything was zero tolerance. Now no one was taking
Speaker 1:chances. The boy spent seven weeks in jail, though he was there until Thanksgiving. It was during that period that the community learned of his plan. He intended to fill his car with gasoline canisters and plow into the school as a suicide bomber. In December he pleaded down to two minor charges and was sentenced to a one-year juvenile diversion program, just as Eric and Dylan had been. Other charges were dropped, including theft. He had stolen $100 from the video store he worked at to run away to Texas. He had begun seeing a psychiatrist and taking medication. The sentence required both to continue. The prosecutor said quote this is a troubled young man and he will be getting the help that he needs. End
Speaker 1:quote. The half-year anniversary also brought a deadline. Colorado law requires that anyone who wants to sue a government agency for negligence must file an intent notice within 180 days. Twenty families filed Notices came from families of the dead, families of the injured and the Klebolds. Tom and Sue Klebold charged Stone's department with reckless, willful and wanton misconduct. Stone's department with reckless, willful and wanton misconduct for failing to alert them about its 1998 investigation into Eric's behavior, particularly his death threats. That warning would more likely than not have caused the Klebolds to become aware of dangers of which they were not aware and demand that their son Dylan be excluded from all contacts with Eric Harris. The filing read the notice said the family expected to be sued by victims and sought damages from Jeffco equal to those eventual settlements. The Klebolds had cause for concern. The two families still topped most blame lists. The filing took the community by surprise. No one had heard from the Harris's or Klebolds in
Speaker 1:months. The harshest rebuke came from Sheriff Stone. He said I think it's outrageous. He said it's their parenting thing, not our fault for the kid doing this thing. He also lamented the tragedy degenerating to an ugly stage. Brian Robach told the clibbles move and stride. It surprised him at first, he said, but on reflection it seems reasonable. He directed his outrage at Sherry Stone's response. He says quote we felt that it was really ugly April 20th. Brian said ugly April 20th. Brian said Wayne and Kathy finally agreed to meet with investigators without immunity on October 25th. These are the Harris's. It was a brief session led by Sheriff Stone. There is no record of it being documented in a police
Speaker 1:report. Only two people would be charged with crime Mark Maines, who had sold the TEC-9, and Phil Duran, who brokered the deal Months earlier. Agent Fusilier had predicted that he would be savage, with both legitimate and displaced anger. He would be savage with both legitimate and displaced anger and he pretty much said well, these two guys stepped practically in front of a freight train, and he was right. Mainz was up first. He called to a plea agreement and was sentenced on November 11. It was ugly because nine families spoke at the hearing and every one of them demanded the
Speaker 1:maximum. Mainz's lawyer described a rough childhood. His client had gotten in trouble, then mended his ways. Mainz had gotten off drugs, gone to college, obtained a steady job in the computer field. His character today is exemplary. He said that infuriated the relatives and one of them says having that attorney talk about how wonderful Mark Mainz is was tough. And this was Dave Sanders, whose daughter, connie, was one of the victims. He said he wasn't misunderstood, he was in the
Speaker 1:wrong. Maine spoke last. He faced the judge and assured him that he had no idea what Eric and Dylan were planning. He said I was horrified. I told my parents I never want to see a gun for the rest of my life. There is no way I can adequately explain my sorrow to the families. It is something I would regret for the rest of my life. End
Speaker 1:quote. Mains was eligible for 18 years in prison, but his plea agreement knocked that down to a maximum of nine. Judge Henry Nieto said that he had no choice. The conduct of this defendant was the first step in what became an earthquake. All of us had a moral duty, when we see the potential for harm, to intervene. Nine years, but he would assign them concurrently. So Mainz would serve his only six with parole, maybe as little as
Speaker 1:three. Nero warned the families not to expect comfort from the sentence. Mains looked calm but he took it hard. His lawyer put his hand on Mains' neck and whispered that he loved him. Mains was led away in handcuffs. The families applauded. Mains' lawyer described his client as a scapegoat. He said there's no one else to be angry. Christian martyr Casey Bernard offered
Speaker 1:hope. In September Misty went on a national book tour. She said yes, leapt onto the New York Times bestseller list in its first week. The Rocky Mountain News editors had a dilemma. They knew Cassie had never said yes. They had expected to chatter the myth by now, but they were still waiting for the sheriff's report. They had to cover the book's release. The editors decided to run two pieces on publication day affirming Cassie
Speaker 1:Smith. A few weeks later another publication broke the news the rocky follow-up with Emily Wyant's testimony. With the story out, emily agreed to allow her name to be used. The renowned publisher lashed out at Emily. The news made front pages as far away as London. Brad and Misty were caught by surprise. They felt humiliated and betrayed by Emily, by the cops and by the secular
Speaker 1:press. The evidence against martyrdom was overwhelming. But Casey's youth pastor saw stronger forces at play. Reverend Dave McPherson said, quote the church is going to stick to the martyr story. You can say it didn't happen that way, but the church won't accept it. End quote. He didn't mean just his church, he meant the vast evangelical community worldwide and to a large extent he was right. Book sales continued briskly. A vast array of websites sprang up to defend the story. Others just repeated it without even mentioning that it had been
Speaker 1:debunked. Jeffco also faced a series of embarrassing leaks. Investigators had let the video get loose to CBS and had revealed the truth about Cassie Benal. Lead investigator Kate Batan had broken her silence and spoken to one reporter, and the first passages from Eric's journal had slipped out. And yet the department maintained its official silence. It delayed the report again. The victims' families were furious. The sheriff's department's credibility plummeted. Jeffco expressed shock and bewilderment at the
Speaker 1:leaks. Officials offered flimsy excuses and insurances. Weeks Officials offered flimsy excuses and insurances. A spokesman insisted that only two copies of Eric's journal existed, when in fact they had been run through photocopiers repeatedly and no one had a clue how many copies were floating around. Then the undersheriff let a time reporter watch the basement tapes. He had assured the families repeatedly they would be the first to see the
Speaker 1:videos. The magazine ran an expose cover story shortly before Christmas. Stone and undersheriff Dunaway posted in their dress, blues with white gloves, armed with the killer's semi-automatics. Many families were aghast. Zebo called for Stone to resign. Charges of cowardice against the SWAT teams resurfaced. Prominent law enforcement officials joined the chorus. Stone insisted that his department would be accelerated by the final report, which was delayed
Speaker 1:again. Turbulence was expected that fall. Everyone knew they would face anniversaries and hearings. No one foresaw the string of aftershocks. The school was sued over a Kraft Project gun awry the Robots charged infringement of the religious expression. Rye the Rohrbogs charged infringement of the religious expression. Brian Rohrbog repeated the crosses incident in a memorial garden created at Cassie's church. His group picketed Sunday services and then chopped down two of the 15 trees in front of the horrified youth group that had planted them. They inadvertently chose the tree symbolizing Cassie. Bomb threats were a regular occurrence, but one gained traction. To end the wake-up-the-time story, the school was shut down until after Christmas. Finals were canceled. Legal battles over the basement tapes
Speaker 1:began. Then the new year began and it got worse. A young boy was found dead in a dumpster a few blocks from Columbine High On Valentine's Day. Two students were shot dead in a subway shop two blocks from the school. The star of the basketball team committed suicide. Some events were unrelated to the massacre or even the school. But much of the community had lost its ability to distinguish. Perspective was impossible. Kids were calling it the Columbine
Speaker 1:curse. Appointments at the mental health facilities set up for Columbine survivors rose sharply through the fall. Utilization peaked about nine months after the tragedy and held steady until a year and a half out. At any given time during that period, case managers were following about 15 kids on suicide watch. Gradually each one came down from the brink but another took that kid's place. Substant abuse spiked. The area experienced a marked increase in traffic accidents and DUIs. Marked increase in traffic accidents and
Speaker 1:DUIs. If we look at the definition of PTSD, it can last between a month, occurring any time after a genuine trauma, and there is a series of disabling responses, for example, recurring intrusive recollections, emotional numbing and a constriction of life activity, physiological shift in the fear threshold affecting sleep concentration and a sense of security. Sleep concentration and a sense of security. Response to PTSD can vary dramatically. Some people feel too much, others too little. The over-feelers often suffer flashbacks. Nothing can drive away their terror. They awake each morning knowing it may be April 20th or over again. They can go hours, weeks or months without an episode and then a trigger, often a sight, sound or smell, and this will take them right back. It's not like a bad memory of the event. It feels like it is the event. It feels like it is the event. Others protect themselves by shutting down altogether. Pleasant feelings and joy get eliminated with the bad. They often describe feeling
Speaker 1:numb. It was a rough year. The football team offered a respite. Matthew Ketter had been a sophomore when he was killed in the library. He had played in the defensive line in 1998 season and had hoped to make varsity that fall. At his parents' request, the team dedicated the season to Matt. Each player wore Matt's number on his helmet and Matt's initials, mjk, on his cap. They finished the season 12-1. They came from 17 behind in the fourth quarter to win the first playoff game. The players wept on the field and they chanted MJK, mjk wept on the field and they chanted MJK, mjk. They were heavy underdogs for the state championship. Denver powerhouse. Cherry Creek High had taken five of the last 10
Speaker 1:titles. Columbine had made it to the big game only once, a loss two decades back. Supporters flew in from around the world. 8,000 people packed the stadium. The media were everywhere. The New York Times covered the game. The temperature dropped below freezing. Patrick Ireland sat in the front row trying to keep warm Columbine first. Chevy Creek went ahead early, but Columbine tied it up at the half. And then the defense came on strong and they allowed just two first downs in the second half and the third touchdown put it away and Columbine won 21-14. Fans rushed the field. The familiar chant thundered through the stands we are Columbine, we are Columbine. The school held a victory rally. A highlight reel of the game was projected, ending with a picture of Matt, and it said this one's for you. A moment of silence was held for all
Speaker 1:13. Some kids seem immune to the gloom, others fought private battles on completely different chronologies. Patrick Ireland made steady improvements, kept his 4.0 average that fall and made sure valedictorian was still in sight. But a more significant problem loomed. Patrick had had his life pretty well figured out junior year Before he got shot. He was going to be an architect. His grandfather had been a builder and Patrick had taken to drawing. In his junior high drafting class he lined up that T-square against the drafting table and he could feel it. He liked the precision. He enjoyed the artistry. At Columbine he worked with sophisticated computer-aided design software. When Eric and Dylan finalized their plot, patrick was deep into research on college programs and had started investigating internships. He was still going to be an architect. Patrick clung to the dream straight through outpatient therapy. He took breaks for three out-of-state campus visits at schools with leading architecture programs. They all accepted him, but they stress how rigorous the work will be. Architecture programs are known for their massive
Speaker 1:workloads. Five years of relentless all-nighters All night was not an option for Patrick. He could cheat himself out of a couple hours of sleep, but his brain would take years to recover. He would slow his progress by taxing it too hard and possibly even bring on seizures. In March he took a school trip to England. The jet lag was tough. His mother, kathy, went with him and Friday night she noticed his face went blank and his eyeball fluttered for a few seconds. Kathy believed he was a precursor to the event. Two days later, patrick was walking through London and collapsed in the middle of a street. He shook violently, made it almost to the curb and called out to a friend for help. A London doctor prescribed anti-seizure medication. The family confirmed the treatment back home and Patrick will be on it for
Speaker 1:life. Architecture school wasn't going to work. John and Kathy understood that from the start, but they waited for Patrick to accept the situation. He opted for Colorado State, just over an hour away. He would try business school for a year. Csu had an architecture program too. If a year later he felt he could handle it, he could transfer. If a year later he felt he could handle it, he could transfer. Despite this cloud over his future, patrick regained his bearing through the year. Socially, he was having the time of his
Speaker 1:life. Patrick had always been a catch. He had been bright, charming, handsome and athletic and he had been a little short on confidence from time to time. And Laura would have given anything to go to the prom with Patrick. She might have become his girlfriend if he had asked, but the shotgun blast had robbed him of some of his best assets. But he was a star. He was the most celebrated figure to live through the tragedy and he put up an incredible
Speaker 1:fight. Girls flirted unabashedly, but Patrick wanted Laura. That first summer he told her how much he wanted her, how deeply and how long, and she said me too, with a relief. Finally, after all, this time it was out in the open. And one thing happened, though. Laura confessed everything, all those nights, flirting on the phone, hinting her heart out for him to ask if only he had asked her to the prom. And Patrick said okay, I like you, you like me, let's do something about
Speaker 1:it. And it was too late because she was dating the prom dude. But that didn't seem like an obstacle, because he asked do you want to be with me? Yes, then break up with him. And she said she would do it. He gave her time. He asked again when are you going? Would do it? He gave her time. He asked again when are you going to do it? And she said it would be soon. But nothing happened. Girls were fighting for the chance to date him. So he got tired of waiting and asked one out. And then he asked another, one and another, and he thought this was fun. Things grew strained with Laura. They never went out. They began avoiding each other. It was like being in fourth grade again. Thank you for listening to the murder book. Have a great day.
